by carl wilson

Yuppie Band Name Alert


What's with these bands called Editors, or Architects (or The Architects)? It's the flip side of the Wolf/Bear/Eagle names, I suppose. But what's next - "Personal Finance Consultants"? Why not just say what you really mean and call yourself Eyewear?

A better name for a band would be Customer Service Agents. Or Offshore Call Centre. Or just the Temps. Although I have to admit I'd probably like a band that named itself the Translators.

| Posted by zoilus on Thursday, May 04 at 2:19 PM | Linking Posts | Comments (34)



Personally, I blame the Waitresses for laying the groundwork for this trend. They were clearly years ahead of their time as far as... Well, as far as knowing what boys like, I suppose.

Posted by Matt on May 12, 2006 6:18 PM



The Yuppies = so 20 years ago. Bandname of today's young professionals: The Grups.* You know it's going to happen.

Still giggling over Misha's Ombudsvikings.

In the late '90s, a group of very-bored-at-work friends and I played an e-mail Bandnaming Game. It was dead simple: Come up with five bandnames. E-mail to everyone. Next person comes up with 5 bandnames. Repeat. This went on daily for MONTHS. It's addictive.

*(Google it, if yer lost -- the highly effective anti-comment-spam filter won't let me post an explanatory link.)

Posted by Nadia on May 12, 2006 3:27 PM



i would just like to note, for the record, my current favourite imaginary band name, namely:

Jean Chretien and His Cabinet

(ps: The Madonna is great!)

Posted by Sean on May 8, 2006 6:41 AM



what of The Association?

those guys could rock hard, and rock smart.

Posted by marco on May 7, 2006 8:42 PM



all these names remind me a bit of the vastly better Associates.

Posted by andrew on May 7, 2006 7:01 PM



That's hilarious!
How about the Semiotics majors?
oh wait, there are already a few of those...
I'm waiting for the day that I meet an indie rock drummer that says they play in a band called Scenester Scenster.

Posted by Danila on May 7, 2006 5:07 PM



The Professors


Posted by cotten999 on May 7, 2006 3:59 PM



The Engineers

Posted by Cotten999 on May 7, 2006 3:54 PM



The Editors

Here you go

Posted by Cotten999 on May 7, 2006 3:52 PM



"Work Safe"

—Reassuring, yet cruelly banal.

Posted by Brian on May 7, 2006 10:26 AM



how about:

the adjunct faculty


the limited appointments

Posted by maynard on May 6, 2006 8:49 AM



"The Madonna" - they sound Canadian. And they'd be on Blocks.

(If this really comes about, I want a free promo of the CD)

Posted by ryan on May 5, 2006 10:33 PM



Ryan, "The Madonna" is a great, great band name. Almost as good as Duran Duran Duran.

Posted by zoilus on May 5, 2006 5:22 PM



The Content Providers is perfect. I think I've made that joke myself. Next Available Agent is the best, much improved from my Customer Service Agents (which should really have been Customer Service Representatives).

This game can just go on forever, can't it?

Posted by zoilus on May 5, 2006 5:21 PM



Ye olde eye Weeklye team of EDITORS always joked that we were going to form a band called the CONTENT PROVIDERS.

Posted by Dovercourt on May 5, 2006 1:45 PM



Or The Song Corporation, even.

Posted by Eppy on May 5, 2006 12:49 PM



The band name is a shamanistic image. The trend described here attempts to exoticize the banal and quotidian.

Talking Heads.


Banal-ly, few musicians don't have day jobs. Lots of alt-rockers have yuppie jobs.

The Bank Vice Presidents.

The English Teachers.

The Non-profit Grant Writers.

The Social Workers.

Or, cut to the chase: The Young Urban Professionals! (Sounds like a '60s white mod-soul band that covered "I'm in with the 'In' Crowd" and "Music to Watch Girls By," with the awesome, still un-dated line, "They solemnly convene to make a scene.")

Posted by john on May 5, 2006 12:11 PM




There already WAS an outfit called the TEMPS..a late 70's Mississauga outfit that featured future Bopcat, Shoe Tarbender, Teddy Fury.

Posted by Bruce Mowat on May 5, 2006 10:25 AM




There already WAS an outfit called the TEMPS..a late 70's Mississauga outfit that featured future Bopcat, Shoe Tarbender, Teddy Fury.

Posted by Bruce Mowat on May 5, 2006 10:25 AM



Fookin' Stoodents!

Posted by ryan on May 5, 2006 10:14 AM



"...I'd probably like a band that named itself the Translators."

What about the jangly early-'80s San Francisco band Translator, remembered (if at all) for "Everywhere That I'm Not"?

"Or just the Temps."

It would probably be confused with the Temptations, sad to say.

However, Next Available Agent would be good. As would the Middle Managers, the Focus Group and the Consultants.

Posted by J.D. Considine on May 5, 2006 9:25 AM



The Hitler Studies (--> "White Noise", DeLillo)

Combines both the academic element as well as the Joy Division nazi-element.

Posted by Chris on May 5, 2006 8:59 AM



also: oh shit, i read "bloodbathy" in Ryan's comments as "burberry" ... read into that what you will.

Posted by Graham on May 5, 2006 6:56 AM



how about Professors? (there must be a band with this name out there and if not there needs to be.)

Teaching Assistants?


Administrative Assistants?



Posted by Graham on May 5, 2006 6:55 AM




It is a band name that pleases me as no band name ever has.

It is with utmost respect for the band name that I ask: could there maybe be an umlaut in there somewhere?

(I am picuring giant norsemen who control the thunder itself and yet also have the skills to listen patiently to your complaint and see to it that it is handled in a reasonably prompt manner by the appropriate department.)

(ps - I hope there is no band attached to this name. A band name like this is too good to be wasted on an actual band)

Posted by misha on May 5, 2006 12:29 AM




Posted by ryan on May 4, 2006 10:18 PM



The Inhumanities

Posted by Brian on May 4, 2006 9:03 PM



How about The Provosts? Or MBA?

Actual good higher education/job title name: Zoologists.

Posted by chris r on May 4, 2006 9:01 PM



But "Editors" isn't a university dept. (Unless you think of journal editors I suppose.) These all - Editors, Architects, Engineers - seem like weird gestures of uber-professionalism. Perhaps they're meant sarcastically, but still.

Tenure Track would be a great name for a really hypergeeky grad-student-type band though. It's got such a faux macho sound. (Getting silly: NASCAR Tenure Track!)

Posted by zoilus on May 4, 2006 8:13 PM



re: University-themed names

-The Food Scientists
-The Women's Studies
-The Tenure-track positions
-The McGill Ghetto

Posted by marco on May 4, 2006 6:45 PM



Also the Google-unfriendly Books. This is perhaps relatable to Jon Fine's recent whine re Editor Rock, noted at TMFTML, which, oddly, doesn't mention Editors.

Posted by an ex-editor (not Editor) on May 4, 2006 4:45 PM



What about Experimental Dental School?

Posted by spitz on May 4, 2006 4:42 PM



there's also Engineers.

Picking names randomly out of university course calendar is the new big thing.

Posted by frank on May 4, 2006 3:18 PM



I want to see full-on bloodbathy wars start over naming disputes centered around the use of articles.

"Hey, asshole, you can't call your band the Architects! That's our band's name."

"Nuh-uh, you're just *Architects*, we're THE Architects."

And then it's only a matter of time before we have THE Madonna, THE Celine Dion, and yes, THE The The.

Posted by Ryan on May 4, 2006 2:29 PM




Zoilus by Carl Wilson